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David and Nathan

2 Samuel 12

King David arranged the death of Uriah to cover up unplanned pregnancy but did not recognize his sin until God spoke through the prophet Nathan.

This page is about repentance and restoration. For perspective on David's infidelity, read the David and Bathsheba page.

David Didn't Recognize His Sin without Nathan's Allegory

King David was responsible for his adultery and for murdering Uriah, but he did not recognize his responsibility for about 9 months.

The King's Responsibility

The king was responsible for knowing the law according to Deuteronomy 17:18-20, and of course adultery is against the law (Ex 20:14, Deut 5:18) as is murder (Ex 20:13; Deut 5:17)—both of which had legal consequences of capital punishment (Lev 20:10; 24:17).

God's Rebuke through Nathan

2 Samuel 12:1-14

God confronted David with his sins, not Bathsheba. The allegory that Nathan used to get David to become aware of his sins was about stealing and killing (see 2 Sam 12:1-14). David did the stealing and the killing, not Bathsheba.

While rebuking David, Nathan emphasized the stealing by referring to Bathsheba not by her name but by calling her "Uriah's wife."

v. 9

God speaking through Nathan referred to her, telling David, "(you have) taken his wife to be your wife".

v. 10

Again, God speaking through Nathan said, "taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife."

v. 15

Uriah's widow

David Accepted Responsibility

2 Samuel 12:13

So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” (NKJV)

Psalm 51

Psalm 51 is a song of lament in which David confesses his sins, most noticeably in verses 3 and 4 (NKJV):

For I acknowledge my transgressions,

And my sin is always before me.

Against You, You only, have I sinned,

And done this evil in Your sight—

That You may be found just when You speak,

And blameless when You judge.

Psalm 32

In Psalm 32, David sings of the consequences of remaining silent about his sins, most noticeably in verses 3 and 4 (NASB1995):

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away

Through my groaning all day long.

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer.

Women & Men Don't Recognize Their Sins

A 2020 headline for a flawed study said women do not regret their abortions (Washington Post, CNN). The study actually indicated that women did not have regret within 5 years of their abortions, but that was before the surge of abortions by the pills (plural—5 pills: 1 to kill the baby and 4 to induce labor to expel the baby).

Women who led abortion recovery programs at that time and even today will tell you that women do regret their abortions but may not find an abortion recovery program until as many as 40 years after their abortions. And with today's rampant use of pills to abort, women realize their regret much sooner because their trauma is greater.

We do not have statistics on how long it takes men to regret their involvement in abortion.

Nathan's rebuke worked for David, but such a harsh word does not work with most women—and likely won't work for today's men, either. However, learning the David and Bathsheba story as a story of David's attempt to control and cover up unplanned pregnancy may wake up women and men to their responsibility to acknowledge their sins.

Abortion Recovery Programs for Women & Men

Many Christian abortion recovery programs for women and men exist today—in person, online, and even specifically for African American women. These Christian Bible studies have been around since the 1990s, but the number of programs has grown greatly since 2020 because of online opportunities and the great increase in abortion by the pills.

Some programs are hosted by churches, yet many women won't do the program in a church building because they do not feel worthy of being in a church. You can refer women and men to programs led by parachurch organizations.

Abortion Recovery Programs

Repentance

Psalm 51

In 2 Samuel 12:16, David prayed for his son's life. After his baby died, David went to the house of the Lord and worshiped while bowing down. ("Worshiped while bowing down" is from the Hebrew word shachah, which is translated to worship in that verse. See the Bible Verses on Worship page.) Psalm 51 has a note before it saying that David sang this prayer to the Lord after he sinned with Bathsheba.

Psalm 51 provided me with a model prayer after I accepted responsibility for my abortion. Psalm 51 contains both requests for forgiveness and requests for restoration.

Requests for Forgiveness

verses

Requests for Restoration

verses

Responsibility

Psalm 32

David also sang Psalm 32, although the text does not note when he sang it.

However, when I read verses 3 and 4, I knew I had found my Biblical explanation of what had happened to me.

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away

Through my groaning all day long.

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality failed as with the dry heat of summer.

Like David, I did not recognize my sin. I went along with life as if everything were normal—for 14 years. But the vitality of my soul drained away. For me, it felt like a slow leak that I did not recognize. The longer the time passed, the less vitality I had. It became as if I were breathing through a straw.

Once completely healed, I was no longer breathing through a straw. I could take a deep breath of God's fresh air! (I have since learned that Ruach, the Hebrew word for Spirit, in reference to the Holy Spirit, could also be translated as breath—all the more meaningful!)

But before I was healed, I didn't realize I was breathing through a straw. I had been breathing through a straw for so long that it felt normal to me. I didn't know what I didn't know.

Restoration brought about full, deep breaths and feels wonderful!

Residual Effects

The Whole Family Feels the Effects

David’s counselor, Ahithophel, was the father of Eliam and therefore Bathsheba's grandfather (2 Samuel 23:34; 15:12, 31). When David's son Absalom conspired to take the throne, Ahithophel joined the conspiracy.

Perhaps Ahithophel chose to support Absalom because he was angry about what David did to his granddaughter.

I Regretted Depriving my Nephews and Niece from their Cousin

My nephew has two cousins, but they are two decades younger than him. If I had not aborted, he would have a cousin a few years younger than him.

My "niece" and "nephews" on my ex-husband's side would also have a cousin closer to their age, and my niece would have had an older cousin.

I honestly did not grieve my "choice" until I realized the effect of my missing daughter on the rest of my family.

My Sons Do Not Have Their Big Sister

I saw the pain and bewilderment on my older son's face when he realized that he's not my oldest.