David and Bathsheba and Uriah

When I told my pastor that God had led me to the story of David and Bathsheba as I sought answers about my abortion, he said that his seminary professor pointed out that this story is focused on David's actions. Seeking answers for myself, I studied 2 Samuel 11 and 12 with a renewed attention to details.

In David's story, I found the need to take responsibility, the benefits of repentance, the spiritual advantages of restoration, and the residual effects of his sin.


I Needed to Take Responsibility for My Pre-Marital Sex & Abortion

When Jesus kindly addressed my abortion, I was unwilling to take responsibility. I blamed everyone but myself.

Jesus waited patiently.

Then I realized that I could have stopped my abortion at any time. No one forced me. No one coerced me. And even if others secretly wanted the abortion, too, they would have supported me through my pregnancy and whatever I chose for my daughter after giving birth.

I was responsible for my premarital sex that resulted in a crisis pregnancy, and I was responsible for my daughter's death, but 14 years passed before I recognized my responsibility.

King David Needed to Take Responsibility for His Adultery & Murder of Uriah

King David was responsible for his adultery and for murdering Uriah, but he did not recognize his responsibility for at least 9 months.

Here is a list of David's actions before Nathan confronted him:

2 Samuel 11

v. 1

At the time when kings go out to battle... David stayed in Jerusalem.

Why did David, the king and a mighty warrior, stay home while sending others to fight on his behalf?

v. 2

David got up and walked around on his own roof. David saw a woman.

The Bible does not say that Bathsheba was on her roof. It was evening and David got out of bed, so was it so late in the evening that Bathsheba did not expect anyone to see her?

In addition to "seeing," Strong's definitions also lists "spying, staring."

v. 3

David inquired about the woman. David heard this question: "Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, wife of Uriah the Hittite?"

Eliam and Uriah were among David’s Mighty Men (2 Samuel 23:34, 39; 1 Chronicles 11:31). David’s counselor, Ahithophel, was the father of Eliam and therefore Bathsheba's grandfather (2 Samuel 23:34; 15:12, 31).

Uriah is always referred to as "Uriah the Hittite," so he must be a warrior who joined David when David was running from Saul.

v. 4

David took her. David lay with her.

v. 6

David sent for Uriah.

v. 7-13

David attempted to deceive Uriah.

v. 14-15

David ordered Uriah's death.

v. 16-17

Joab helped cover David's sins by allowing other valiant men to die along with Uriah even though David said "pull back from him (Uriah)" in verse 15.

v. 27

David had Bathsheba brought to his house, and she became his wife.

The king was responsible for knowing the law according to Deuteronomy 17:18-20, and of course adultery is against the law (Exodus 20:14, Deuteronomy 5:18) as is murder (Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17)—both of which had legal consequences of capital punishment (Leviticus 20:10; 24:17).



Some Jewish and Christian scholars assert that David raped Bathsheba, but the Hebrew word for "force" used in the story of Shechem raping Dinah (see Genesis 34:2) and in the story of Amnon raping Tamar (see 2 Samuel 13:12-14) is not used in the story of David and Bathsheba.

Willing Participant in Adultery?

I have often heard the "David and Bathsheba" story told with equal responsibility placed on both David and Bathsheba, but as a woman who understands the power differences between a king who commanded an army and a woman whose husband and father were in that army and whose grandfather was an adviser to the king, I do not see Bathsheba as equally responsible for the adultery. A woman would consider the consequences for her husband and father and grandfather if she were to refuse the king.

Eliam and Uriah were among David’s Mighty Men (2 Samuel 23:34, 39; 1 Chronicles 11:31). David’s counselor, Ahithophel, was the father of Eliam and therefore Bathsheba's grandfather (2 Samuel 23:34; 15:12, 31).

Nathan's Rebuke 2 Samuel 12:1-14

God confronted David with his sins, not Bathsheba. The allegory that Nathan used to get David to become aware of his sin was about stealing and killing. David did the stealing and the killing, not Bathsheba. While rebuking David, Nathan emphasized the stealing by referring to Bathsheba not by her name but by calling her "Uriah's wife."


We can see that the emphasis is on David's actions, not Bathsheba's, by highlighting when and how she is referenced.

v. 3

One of David's servants references her by name: “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”

v. 4

took her; she came to him; he lay with her

v. 5

the woman, she

v. 11

Uriah refers to her as "my wife."

v. 26

Uriah's wife

v. 27

had her brought to his house; she became his wife and bore him a son


v. 9

God speaking through Nathan referred to her, telling David, "(you have) taken his wife to be your wife".

v. 10

Again, God speaking through Nathan said, "taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife."

v. 15

Uriah's widow

v. 24

David comforted his wife Bathsheba...

Name or Pronouns?

Between the first reference to Bathsheba by name in 1 Samuel 11:3 and the second reference to Bathsheba by name in 2 Samuel 12:24, David attempted to deceive Uriah, had Uriah killed, was confronted by Nathan, and fasted while the baby was sick.

Meanwhile, Bathsheba mourned the death of her husband, gave birth to her son, and mourned the death of her son.

Reaching abortion-minded women

Women who believe God is misogynistic may begin to listen to God's Word if they hear that David was responsible for this soap opera.


Psalm 51

In 2 Samuel 12:16, David prayed for his son's life.

After his baby died, David went to the house of the Lord and worshiped while bowing down. ("Worshiped while bowing down" is from the Hebrew word
shachah, which is translated to worship in that verse. See the Bible Verses on Worship page.) Psalm 51 has a note before it saying that David sang this prayer to the Lord after he sinned with Bathsheba.

Psalm 51 provided me with a model prayer after I accepted responsibility for my abortion. Psalm 51 contains both requests for forgiveness and requests for restoration.


Psalm 32

David also sang Psalm 32, although the text does not note when he sang it.

However, when I read verses 3 and 4, I knew I had found my Biblical explanation of what had happened to me.

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away

Through my groaning all day long.

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality failed as with the dry heat of summer.

Like David, I did not recognize my sin. I went along with life as if everything were normal. But the vitality of my soul drained away. For me, it felt like a slow leak that I did not recognize. The longer the time passed, the less vitality I had. It became as if I were breathing through a straw.

Once completely healed, I was no longer breathing through a straw. I could take a deep breath of God's fresh air! (I have since learned that Ruach, the Hebrew word for Spirit, in reference to the Holy Spirit, could also be translated as breath—all the more meaningful!)

But before I was healed, I didn't realize I was breathing through a straw. I had been breathing through a straw for so long that it felt normal to me. I didn't know what I didn't know.

Restoration brought about full, deep breaths and feels wonderful!

Residual Effects

The Whole Family Feels the Effects

David’s counselor, Ahithophel, was the father of Eliam and therefore Bathsheba's grandfather (2 Samuel 23:34; 15:12, 31). When David's son Absalom conspired to take the throne, Ahithophel joined the conspiracy.

Perhaps Ahithophel chose to support Absalom because he was angry about what David did to his granddaughter.

I Regretted Depriving my Nephews and Niece from their Cousin

My nephew has two cousins, but they are two decades younger than him. If I had not aborted, he would have a cousin a few years younger than him.

My "niece" and "nephews" on my ex-husband's side would also have a cousin closer to their age, and my niece would have had an older cousin.

I honestly did not grieve my "choice" until I realized the effect of my missing daughter on the rest of my family.

My Sons Do Not Have Their Big Sister

I saw the pain and bewilderment on my older son's face when he realized that he's not my oldest.